View source for Motskalla's Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box (3.5e Equipment)

{{April Fools}}
{{author
|author_name=Sulacu
|date_created=April 1, 2015
|adopter=
|date_adopted= 
|status=Belgium
|editing=
}}
<onlyinclude>
== Motskalla's Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box ==

{{3.5e Magic Item
|name=Motskalla's Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box
|price=600 gp
|bslot=
|cl=9th
|aura=Moderate [[SRD:Conjuration School|conjuration]] (DC 19)
|act=Use-activated
|weight=5 lb.
|summary=Oft shortened to 'DeliBox' by rich travelers, the Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box uses the most state of the art magitechnologies and developments into Spatial Entanglement to bring the comforts of hot, delicious food right to your dungeon crawl.}}

''The eccentric yet genious theoretical arcane physicist Motskalla Sarcus began her life of science at the tender age of 10, when she got it into her head to try and make a huge, celebratory New-Years firework only for the old abandoned moathouse-turned-laboratory on the outskirts of her hometown of Sprocket to explode in a violent cacophony of shattered holiday dreams. Having learned that dreams inevitably lead to hideous explosions, the young scientist turned to more peaceful means of obtaining knowledge. She earned multiple Physical Doctorates and ended up working at Aperture Magic, where after a large number of successful, yet unremarkable developments her next pet project became the 'Monad', an arcane interfacing computing unit that when combined with other monads would grow to acquire base sentience and locomotion, which resulted in the near-miss [[Replicator (3.5e Subtype)|Replicator]] outbreak of '73. Barred from working in research and development in perpetuity, she took to teaching the theoretical sciences at Roland University of Magical Technology instead, only to come under scrutiny again when several of her students turned out to be Baraqijali spies that used her discontinued research on [[Motskalla's Spatial Displacement (3.5e Spell)|spatial displacement]] in order to steal Rolan military secrets. Pretty much decried as a dangerous hack by the whole scientific community at this point, Motskalla found her true passion; archaeology and field work, unearthing ancient magics and long forgotten technologies. Unfortunately, her expedition below the permanent ice of Tursas inadvertently released the ancient Zonder infestation back upon the world. Some people just can't catch a break.'' 

''Fortunately, in the end she received a partial pardon for her instrumental aid into fixing the many problems she helped cause in the first place, and decided, 'fuck it, I'm going to take my breakthroughs in [[Motskalla's Entangled Space (3.5e Spell)|Spatial Entanglement]] technology and use it to create a network of Fast Food and Delicatessen Restaurants so anyone can order good food from anywhere, regardless of distance.' Scientists all over the continent are still wondering how she's going to mess this one up.''

Often shortened to 'Deli-Box' by rich travelers and adventurers, ''Motskalla's Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box'' uses the most state of the art magitechnologies and developments into Spatial- and Quantum-Entanglement to bring the comforts of hot, delicious food prepared by skilled cooks all over the world right to wherever the hell you happen to be at the time. Whether you're currently at home and too boneidle to go out and get groceries, or resting up after having barricaded yourself into an old storeroom in the depths of a dungeon filled with monsters, or lost in the middle of the jungle, all you have to do is put this 15 inch by 15 inch by 15 inch box down on the ground and use the Magi-Digital computer panel on the top to make a selection of available restaurants. The on-board software allows the user to cycle through the available list by what type of food they want, as well as manage favourites and pre-sets and even keep track of periodic discounts or specials. A large network of fast-food chains and restaurants around the world use the Deli-Box system, allowing the rich and hungry to order food 24 hours per day, 7 days a week.

Depending on the quality of the food ordered, the price of a single meal for a single person can vary from 1 gp (example; some french fries with the sauce of your choice, and a hamburger) to 3-5 gp (example: a tasty, filling ravioli dish) to some haute cuisine of 10-25 gp or more (example: beef tenderloin topped with foie gras and served with marsala sauce and truffle). After a moment of time, the box will make a 'ping' sound and a light will go on, signaling that the food is ready, at which point one may put payment in an offered slot to open the box and receive dinner. The waiting time varies from roughly 2 to 5 minutes for fast food to half an hour or more for restaurants. Note that a sender and receiver is present on the box, allowing the user to talk with the establishment and further elaborate on their order. 

While the Deli-Box spatially entangles the user's location with the kitchen of whatever restaurant is taking their order, the Deli-Box is an effective intermediary diode, only letting things through from the other side. The user cannot squeeze things through, except by offering coins through the money slot. Food and drinks for up to 6 people can be ordered in one sitting through a Deli-Box.

'''''Notable restaurant chains that offer business through the Deli-Box include the following:''''' ''McRonald's'', ''Calcutta's Grilled [[Ostrich (3.5e Monster)|Ostrich]]'', ''Tall Barry Golden's'', ''Blank Fortress'', ''Beef Wellington Monarch'', ''Wendigo's'', ''Pasta Hut'', ''Softee's'', ''The Road Below'', ''Taco Belfry'', ''Budfrakkers'', ''Big Napoleon's'', and many more. 

Prerequisites: [[SRD:Craft Wondrous Item|Craft Wondrous Item]], ''[[Motskalla's Entangled Space (3.5e Spell)|Motskalla's entangled space]]''.<br />
Cost to Create: 300 gp, 24 EXP, 1 day.</onlyinclude>

----
{{3.5e Wondrous Items Breadcrumb}} 
[[Category:3.5e]]
[[Category:User]]
[[Category:Equipment]]
[[Category:Magic]]
[[Category:Wondrous Item]]
{{Navboxes}}
Author	Sulacu +
Cost	600 gp +
Identifier	3.5e Equipment +
Rated By	Eiji-kun +
Rating	Rating Pending +
Summary	Oft shortened to 'DeliBox' by rich travelers, the Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box uses the most state of the art magitechnologies and developments into Spatial Entanglement to bring the comforts of hot, delicious food right to your dungeon crawl. +
Title	Motskalla's Quantum-Entanglement Delicatessen Box +