Bring My Brown Pants! (3.5e Flaw)

Author: Luigifan18 (talk) Date Created: September 14, 2013 Status: Oh, sh*t! Editing: Clarity edits only please

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Bring My Brown Pants!

You are prone to soiling yourself whenever a situation turns dire. This makes you smell bad, chafes your buttocks, and ruins your pants. And let's not go into what happens if you don't have pants.

Prerequisite: Must have a functional digestive tract

Effect: Whenever you take damage or are subjected to a fear effect, you must make a Fortitude save (DC = damage dealt or save DC of fear effect; if both apply to the same effect, use the higher value). If you fail this save, you immediately soil yourself right then and there.

If you are not wearing any clothing that covers your buttocks, you just drop the contents of your bowels right on the space where you stand. The poop smells awful, and all with a functioning olfactory system (read: sense of smell) who approach within a distance of that square equivalent to your natural melee reach (e.g. not adjusted by reach weapons) must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC = 10 + ½ your HD + your Constitution modifier) or immediately become sickened for as long as they remain in the area and for 5 rounds afterwards. You are immune to being sickened by your own poop for 2 minutes, after which you, too, must make a Fortitude save if you remain in the area. Regardless of a save's success or failure, creatures are immune to being sickened by that poop pile for 24 hours afterwards. In addition, the square with the poop pile becomes slippery terrain for 10 minutes; while its movement cost is not increased, any land-bound creature passing through the square with the poop must succeed on a DC 15 Balance check or else pratfall, causing them to fall prone, lose all remaining movement and actions in that round, and take damage as though they fell 10 feet.

If you are wearing clothing that covers your buttocks, the poop gets stuck in there. This makes you smell awful; all creatures, friend or foe, with a functional olfactory system (read: sense of smell) that enter your natural melee reach must succeed on a Fortitude save (DC = 10 + ½ your HD + your Constitution modifier + # of times you've soiled yourself) or immediately become sickened for as long as they remain near you and for 5 rounds thereafter. Regardless of success or failure, creatures subjected to your stench cannot be affected again for 24 hours or until the next time you soil yourself, whichever comes first. You also take a −3 penalty on Dipomacy and Handle Animal checks per time you've soiled yourself when dealing with creatures that are able to smell, because nobody likes a stinker. The poop in your pants is also really, really uncomfortable. You take a −1 penalty to attack rolls, skill checks (except for Concentration, Diplomacy, Handle Animal, and Knowledge), and saving throws (except for Fortitude) for each time that you've soiled yourself. You are also distracted by the poop in your butt, and must succeed on a Concentration check as if subjected to violent motion in order to do anything (the DC is increased by 1 for each time that you've soiled yourself). These effects remain until you are able to change into a fresh set of underpants.

You can only soil yourself up to five times per hour, plus one per size category above Medium or minus one per size category below Medium. After that, whenever you would soil yourself, you instead take 1 point of nonlethal damage as your anal sphincter exerts itself fruitlessly.

Benefit: Any bonus feat for which you meet the prerequisites.

Special: If you are immune to fear effects, you are not at risk of soiling yourself when subjected to a fear effect. Bonuses and penalties to saves against fear effects also apply to saves to avoid defecating at inappropriate moments.

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